I’ve met someone that makes me feel seasick
Oh what a skill to have
Oh what a skill to have
So many skills that make her distinctive
But they’re not mine to have
No they’re not mine

Whenever she looks i read the nearest paper
No i don’t care about the soaps
No i don’t care about the soaps
Though i’m acting like i’m in an Eastenders episode

If this is a rom-com
Kill the director
If this is a rom-com
Kill the director please

Carrots help us see much better in the dark
Don’t talk to girls; they’ll break your heart
And this is my head and this is my spout
They work together; they can’t figure anything out

So with the angst of a teenage band
Here’s another song about a gender i’ll never understand
Here’s another song about a gender i’ll never understand

If this is a rom-com
Kill the director
If this is a rom-com
Kill the director
If this is a rom-com
Kill the director please

This is no Bridget Jones
This is no Bridget Bridget